Q: Should I be offended by being considered a play thing?
Signed, Reg

A: Dear Reg, Thank you for your question. It is always interesting to help with the quandaries faced by our delightful human readers. (I love your cute and whimsical name, by the way!)

The simple answer to your heartfelt question is, it is important never to think of yourself as merely your stuffed animal’s “plaything.” As a faithful human companion, you are an important accessory to your master / mistress’s well-being and success. Remember that behind every great bear, there has always been a trusty human thing-y taking care of various valuable-but-non-essential details.

Ruffles, for instance, would doubtless have become parched and peckish whilst developing her Theory of Relativity, had it not been for the constant supply of tea and crumpets prepared by her beloved Albert E. Likewise, it is wonderful to think how much the ministrations of the charming and devoted (but little-known) Jane Austen, Sigmund Freud, and G.B. Shaw added to the creature comforts of their talented and tireless bears (I am of course referring, respectively, to Marvy Marcie, Bertie the Bear and Skittles) as they went about making their contributions to modern civilization.

Remember, Reg, as you go about performing your supporting role in Life’s Great Drama, that he / she also serves who simply fetches an endless supply of treats and luxury items. Chin up, and keep up the good work!